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Wednesday, September 22, 2004 

Oopsie

Truth or Consequences, NM -- ToC team officials had a good deal of explaining to do after reporters waited almost three hours for a press conference that never happened. "Sorry," said GM Bob Mastermind. "Our bad."

Early Saturday afternoon, the club released an announcement saying a press conference had been scheduled for Tuesday at 3:00 PST. Sources reveal that Team President, and Head Gangsta, Suge Knight was prepared to fire Manager Tom Emanski in what looked to be the aftermath of a shocking playoff collapse to the age old thorn-in-the-side WeinStockings. However, the Franks rallied over the weekend, winning the series, and presumably saving their skipper's job. Evidently, no one ever cancelled the press conference. "Someone should have done it," said Mastermind. "I'll give you that." Reporters began getting suspicious when the lights were shut off and the janitor asked them to lock up on their way out.

The bigger issue, though, is how Emanski and his players are going to handle this distraction as the LOC Series heats up. "It's all about returning to the fundamentals," said the manager. "I've sold my tapes to all the guys and had them write essays on the finer points. Vernon Wells' paper on pivot foot placement in a 2-6-3 double play was particularly moving." (Ed. note: Right before we went to press, former LOCer Fred McGriff called to endorse Emanski's comment.)

As for Knight, this is just the latest episode in his tempestuous tenure with the team. When confronted in the Hell's Foyer parking lot, he repeatedly grabbed his crotch while swinging a diamond-studded cane and shouting "What? What?" before he could be whisked away in his freshly pimped ride.