Wednesday, September 29, 2004 

Fight the Power

I've been under the weather (I really don't know what that means) and I didn't have time to get this up sooner. Better late than never.

September 25-October 2 is Banned Book Week. Check out more info at ACLU or ALA.

You might not realize this is such a major issue anymore, but censorship is thriving in the land of the free. And it's not just coming from the Far Right. Everyone seems to have an agenda these days and they typically all revolve around depriving others of their rights. Hopefully, some of the banned books (or as they are politely called these days, challenged or reconsidered books) will comes as big surprise and open your eyes. Regardless, for everyone other than Paul, read something that's not good for you. It'll be good for you.

Saturday, September 25, 2004 

Take...Oh, Forget It

One state hasn't been hit by 4 hurricanes during one season since 1886. Oh, I meant since 2004. Joy.

Friday, September 24, 2004 

Yom Kippor

I don't think I have that much of a problem with Shawn Green missing work for a religious holiday. Even though that work is playing professional baseball. Religious beliefs are religious beliefs, and if he feels that he should miss one day of work, then that's fine with me.

Thursday, September 23, 2004 

How Much Did The Poll Cost?

In case you were wondering, a recent AP poll discovered that "People who make more than $75,000 a year are far more likely than those who make $25,000 or less to say are 'very satisfied' with their lives -- 56 percent of the higher-income group compared with 24 percent of the lower-income group."

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 


Truth or Consequences, NM -- ToC team officials had a good deal of explaining to do after reporters waited almost three hours for a press conference that never happened. "Sorry," said GM Bob Mastermind. "Our bad."

Early Saturday afternoon, the club released an announcement saying a press conference had been scheduled for Tuesday at 3:00 PST. Sources reveal that Team President, and Head Gangsta, Suge Knight was prepared to fire Manager Tom Emanski in what looked to be the aftermath of a shocking playoff collapse to the age old thorn-in-the-side WeinStockings. However, the Franks rallied over the weekend, winning the series, and presumably saving their skipper's job. Evidently, no one ever cancelled the press conference. "Someone should have done it," said Mastermind. "I'll give you that." Reporters began getting suspicious when the lights were shut off and the janitor asked them to lock up on their way out.

The bigger issue, though, is how Emanski and his players are going to handle this distraction as the LOC Series heats up. "It's all about returning to the fundamentals," said the manager. "I've sold my tapes to all the guys and had them write essays on the finer points. Vernon Wells' paper on pivot foot placement in a 2-6-3 double play was particularly moving." (Ed. note: Right before we went to press, former LOCer Fred McGriff called to endorse Emanski's comment.)

As for Knight, this is just the latest episode in his tempestuous tenure with the team. When confronted in the Hell's Foyer parking lot, he repeatedly grabbed his crotch while swinging a diamond-studded cane and shouting "What? What?" before he could be whisked away in his freshly pimped ride.

Monday, September 20, 2004 

I Love This Game!

What a weekend.

I have to admit I was pretty upset when Mariano collapsed on Friday night. As of Saturday morning, the Franks and Stox were deadlocked at 12 with ToC clinging to a .001 lead in season BA. The check totals were close, but with only two days left, it would take something big to go down to shake things up. I didn't realize how unprepared I was for the end. Then...Sunday Bloody Sunday in Alexandria. Pedro Martinez, the greatest hurler in LOC history, got bitchified for 8 ER. It blew the match-up wide open and clinched a LOC Series spot for the defending champs.

It also didn't help my nerves that Nomar was on the bench for the last week and a half. Michael Young was forced to play both middle infield spots and I have to say he was up for the challenge. I was wondering, though, if there was any connection to Nomar (Freakin Nomar) hurting his groin and Mia coming back from three weeks at the Olympics.

I would like to tip my cap to my archrivals. Quite a fight indeed.

Friday, September 17, 2004 

Curse Reversed?

We are on the verge of a monumental collapse in the TOC. Can the starcrossed Stox finally bring down the Evil Empire? Two days left...

Thursday, September 16, 2004 

Big Time

Now, that's what I'm talking about. In preparation for joining the Big East next year, as well as the ranks of Florida football powers, USF took a big step toward legitimizing their program. Go Bulls!


More Bonds

The all-time single season OPS leaderboard:

1. Barry Bonds, 2002 -- 1.381
2. Babe Ruth, 1920 -- 1.3791
3. Barry Bonds, 2001 -- 1.3785
4. Babe Ruth, 1921 -- 1.359
5. Babe Ruth, 1923 -- 1.309

* Barry Bonds, 2004 -- 1.445



From's King Kaufman:

Today's stat: Imaginary managerial cojones.

That's right, imaginary -- well, you heard me. What we're dealing with is the anti-Bonds canard 'His numbers are artificially boosted by all those stupid intentional walks.'

Reader and Albert Pujols fan Tim Potter rebuts Monday's Stat of the Day, OPS, which Bonds is dominating to a ridiculous degree, thusly: 'You completely talk around the fact that his OPS is so high because he set a major league record for intentional walks this year because there is absolutely no need to pitch to him. He has nobody else on his team.'

A.C. Hawley puts it this way: 'If I was walked as often as Barry Bonds, my OPS would be that high as well.' Major league scouts, take note! There's an unsigned baseball player who claims he can slug at over an .800 clip in the bigs, something only Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds have ever done! For a small finder's fee, you may contact Hawley through this column to arrange a tryout.

OK, so all those intentional walks -- 105 of them through Tuesday night's game -- distort the numbers. Bonds has otherworldly stats because other teams are too chicken to pitch to him, or because his teammates are such bums there's no need to. That's the claim.

So here's what we'll do: We'll get rid of the intentional walks. We'll pretend that all of the opposing managers on the Giants' schedule have had the managerial cojones -- or lack of regard for job security, whichever you want to call it -- to pitch to Bonds the way they pitch to other big-time power hitters.

Jim Thome of the Phillies is second in the National League in intentional walks with 25. So let's fix it so Bonds has 25 too, instead of 105. Follow me here: We'll take 84 of Bonds' intentional walks and turn them into plate appearances in which he produces exactly the same results as in his remaining 464 appearances. Since 21 of those 464, or 4.5 percent, were intentional walks, four of these new 84 appearances will be free passes too, for a total of 25. Thus our imaginary Bonds gets the delicate treatment of the next-most-feared power hitter in the league, but nothing more.

So what else would happen in those 84 plate appearances that used to be intentional walks? Based on his season to date, Bonds would go 22-for-60 with 22 walks, including those four intentional, a sacrifice fly and a hit-by-pitch. He'd have five doubles, seven home runs and 17 RBIs. His batting average would stay at .372, of course, but he'd have 48 home runs, three ahead of Adrian Beltre of the Dodgers for the league lead, and 111 RBIs, third in the league behind Cardinal Scott Rolen and Colorado's Vinnie Castilla (both with 121), one ahead of Albert Pujols of the Cards.

Bonds' on-base percentage would suffer a bit, dropping from .614, the best ever, to .542, the fourth best in modern (since 1900) history. His slugging percentage would drop a bit too, from .828 to .822, still the fourth best season of all time. His OPS would fall all the way to 1.364, also the fourth best in history. On all three all-time lists, the only names above his 2004 season are Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Barry Bonds.

And just for reference, that 1.364 OPS would be 254 points -- 23 percent -- higher than that of the closest MVP 'candidate,' Jim Edmonds of the Cardinals at 1.110.

Folks, it ain't the intentional walks. Even discounting them, Bonds is having one of the greatest offensive seasons anyone has ever had. There are no other candidates for MVP. "

Tuesday, September 14, 2004 

Rules Question

If a member of your team gets suspended for a year for throwing chairs at fans, do we have to keep a roster spot open for him?

Monday, September 13, 2004 

Thigpending Record

Mariano Rivera is only 9 saves away from the magical 57.

Saturday, September 11, 2004 

Tallahassee Hurricane

Living in Miami for the last 2 years and being a Hurricane fan my entire life, I have grown to truly appreciate the great FSU-UM rivalry. It seems every year they are both very evenly matched and the team that hold the ball last will win the game. My experiences watching these games have been quite odd. While there is alot of enthusiasm for the college games in the northeast, passion is lacked. In Miami, there is a passion and an arrogance that no one, absolutely no one will beat the Canes... ever. It is a cocky, but still passionate, fanbase.
But last night was the ultimate experience in this long lived rivaly. I have heard all the rumors about how Noles fans get so bothered by UM, but in the back of my mind I was pretty sure that these fans were just as cocky and confident as all UM fans. After watching 3 quarters of FSU dominated football, all the Noles fans in the room were biting their nails, waiting for the inevitable, until it finally happened. I cannot imagine how terrible it must be for a team when they KNOW they will lose, no matter what. That is the mentality in Tallahassee. I honestly feel bad for these fans. Doubts always in the back of thier mind, they must all be the most insecure group of people out there (Red Sox fans are in this boat too I suppose). Cocky people annoy me, but i would take that any day over fans who wait for the ceiling to collapse ontop of them. Needless to say, i was not the most popular person in Tallahasee yesterday, nor do i expect to be anytime soon. But one thing i can be sure of, I am definitley more popular than Chris Rix will ever be in this town!! God bless that child, and may God have pity on ANY team that gets in "THE U's" way!!!! GO CANES!!!!!

Thursday, September 09, 2004 

Old School

The "Wait 'Til Next Year" signs are all over Danbury, TX as the Toilet once again fall short in their quest to topple the Evil Empire. After a flurry of deals, including bringing in C.C. Sabathia, Freddy Garcia, AND Keith Foulke, the team actually took a step back from last year's wildcard season. Owner Dan Kohler is reportedly in the market for a rented mule to beat throughout the winter. (There's no truth to the rumor that mules in the Danbury area are in the market for Cactus Franks jerseys in order to ensure they couldn't be beaten by Kohler.)

The bigger story out of the Derrty is the resurrection of the WeinStockings. Left for dead by fans and analysts looking for trendier picks, the Stox carpet-bombed Carolina (do they still have a team?) to cap off their impressive run to the playoffs. Now the only thing that stands between them and a chance to lose another LOC Series is their archrival and haunter of their dreams, the Truth or Consequences Cactus Franks. Longtime LOC watchers are salivating at this meeting of original franchises.


Take Three

People down here are freaking out about Ivan. Right now it's a Category 5 storm and is devastating the islands. Reports from Grenada claim that over 90% of all homes and businesses have been destroyed. Wicked.

We still have roads closed all over Tampa from Frances, so I can't imagine what would happen if we were hit head on by a strong hurricane (let alone a Cat 5). Of course, there's no way to predict its path other than to say it MIGHT hit us. Nice. Looks like another weekend of watching and waiting.

Monday, September 06, 2004 


It was quite a three-day weekend. Not much damage here, but a lot of rain and a lot of sitting around. This storm just left a little while ago. While it wasn't as strong as Charley, it was far more annoying. People on the East Coast started evacuating on Thursday. It hung out offshore for a long time (probably placing college football bets) and then sloooooooooowly made its way across the state. Anyway, it's now on to Ivan. Stay tuned.

Thursday, September 02, 2004 

Take Two

Have you seen Hurricane Frances? It's bigger than the state of Florida. Unlike Charley, which was coming head on from the Gulf, this one is taking the backdoor bandit route. Hopefully, it won't be at full strength when it passes. Actually, hopefully it won't pass by here, but it looks like, regardless, this 3 day weekend is going to be a wash out.